Mirror Moments
Every moment is an opportunity to look into the mirror of your own mind. What is it that you believe? Where are you getting in your own way? How are you separating yourself from the love that you are?
I have found that most, if not all, of my clients are amazing givers. They are always taking care of others whether it be their spouses, their parents, their clients, their children, their children’s children. It doesn’t matter who, so much as, how much they are always thinking of and taking care of others. This has certainly been the case for me.
I have also seen the negative consequences of this. When we are giving at our own expense, we become irritable and resentful. We become exhausted and overwhelmed. We can become unpleasant to be around (especially to those closest to us). We cease taking good care of ourselves, we feel out of balance, and our health declines.
When I ask my clients what they are doing for self-care, some have a few routines, but those often get tossed out the window when things get hectic. They get caught up in the storms of life and they lose their bearings. They are no longer grounded in the truth of who they are – which is a strong, powerful, and loving presence.
Things Don’t Happen To Us; They Happen For Us
These moments of losing our bearings are opportunities to look within and see where we lost our way. Did we throw away the very things that keep us calm, grounded, and centered in patience and love?
I’m learning more and more about the importance of coming back to love, for this is who we really are. When we reconnect with the love inside, we become centered again. Sometimes that love means saying no to everyone else and saying yes to yourself. Sometimes that love seems selfish as you take vacations by and for yourself or invest in things that make you happy, instead of spending that money on someone else. But the more you do, the happier and more balanced you will become.
After my experience of burnout in 2014, I have been methodically rebuilding my life by saying yes to me. Yes, to my dreams. Yes, to my goals. Yes, to new friends that uplift. Yes, to dream vacations. Yes, to the things that bring me joy. While not everyone gets it, I don’t care. It’s not about them. It’s about me. I realized long ago, no one is going to take as good care of me as me because no one knows what makes me happy. Only, I know that.
Taking Care of You
So, all of this is to say, to bring your life into balance, your number one goal should be taking care of you. Make yourself your top priority. Fill your cup with things that bring you peace, love, and joy. When you do, giving to others will become easier, especially when you become choosy about who and when.
If you are feeling depleted, that is not the time to be helping others. Do what you need to take care of you. Once you feel nourished and taken care of, then give to another. Self-care is not selfish; self-care is a necessity. Find the things that restore you and refresh you. Make those your daily priority. Put them at the top of your to do list instead of the bottom and then watch what happens. A new you will emerge – one that is loving, patient, kind and well taken care of.